Thursday, March 24, 2011

White0ut

Here's the key to enjoying Whiteout: Don't think too much.
Don't think too much about the plot. Luckily you don't have to because you've seen it all before.
Don't think about who the bad guy is. Your first guess (made in the first half hour of the movie) is probably right anyway.
Don't think too much about the goofs, like how it's supposed to be so cold in the Antarctic that a spilled cup of hot coffee freezes instantly when the wind hits it but the stars can still walk outside with their faces uncovered.
Thinking will only spoil the otherwise guilty pleasure of watching this movie.
Whiteout stars Kate Beckinsale as Carrie Stetko, a US Marshall serving out the final days of her posting at an Antarctic research facility. (Don't think about why this particular facility needs its own US Marshall...it's never explained, but it's also irrelevant to the rest of the story). When a report comes in that a body has been found out on a remote location, Stetko finds herself in the middle of a murder investigation that is somehow linked to a Russian cargo plane that has been buried under the polar ice for more than 50 years.
The movie quickly paints itself into a corner, at least in terms of the story, that it just can't get out of cleanly and it rushes headlong into an ending that is more silly than satisfying. But so what? There are worse ways to spend 90 minutes than watching Kate Beckinsale running around kicking butt. The fact that she does it and still finds time for a gratuitous shower scene only adds to the mindless fun of watching Whiteout.

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