King Kong (1976)

I love monster movies. And the cheaper the monster, the better.

So it’s no wonder I’m a huge fan of all King Kong movies (with the possible exception of Peter Jackson’s overwrought CGI snore-fest of 2005).

My favorite, though, is 1977’s King Kong. Along with giving the world one of the silliest monster stories of all time -- Kong is brought to New York City to be used as a promotional tool to sell gasoline -- the film marks the big screen debut of Jessica Lange and it’s one of the worst debuts in movie history.

Lange plays a wannabe starlet named Dwan – and, no, that is not a typo. Her character’s name actually is Dwan. She’s found floating out in the middle of the ocean stretched out in a barely-there little black dress in a life raft, the lone survivor of a yacht explosion. (And her excuse of how she survived has to be heard to be appreciated.)

Being the only blonde bimbo within a thousand miles, Dwan soon finds herself drunk and tied up as a sacrifice to the island god, who looks like a man in a cheap monkey suit, especially in the close-ups. The rest, as they say, is movie history. Bad movie history (but well worth watching).

Lange went on to win two Oscars and become one of Hollywood’s great leading ladies, so you have to cut her some slack for her acting in King Kong. When I first saw it I was pretty sure she’d win some kind of award, but I was only 17 and had never seen a hot blonde take a shower under a waterfall while crouching in a giant inflated ape hand before. And I never forgot it.

Starring Jeff Bridges, Jessica Lange.
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